for most of my life
i thought that art
was an engineering exercise
and a self-indulgent one at that

materials?
check
color scheme?
this season’s
thematic elements?
culturally appropriate
let’s get to work!

and then one day
my brain melted out of my ears
literally this
is my story

i realized then
creative expression
is something else entirely

an existential
release valve

sometimes i wish
i could go back in time
and tell myself this
for a less pressured life

but i wouldn’t have believed me
and you can’t teach experience

i still think art
is self-indulgent